2013

People tell me that a new year means a new chance at everything. It's a chance to clear out everything in your head, a chance to review past mistakes and to learn from them, a way to form clear consciences.

But, there is a deep foreboding. A new start means a new way to make a mistake.
Forget the past? Never. The consequence? Wariness. Fear.
And when I remember all the hurt I've been in, I wonder yet again if this year will do the same.
The fear that I will be swallowed by another ocean of disappointment and shame in myself is crushing me. I can barely breathe.
Fake hopes, spiteful defeats... they are like sparks will no doubt fade away into nothingness.

I just want to forget everything and never look back.
Is that not the true meaning of a new start? To try yet again, to build, to try to change?
I want to leave my soul and bleach the black into white.

Oh, 2013... Am I the only one with such a depressing view of the new year?





8 comments:

  1. 2013 ...It is a mystery. Do not worry, Some good would happen to you. I guarantee.
    Smile, its the best remedy.
    Keep writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How long will I have to smile to make me feel better?

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  2. Sometimes a new start is simply a change of direction. Best of luck this year.
    xx
    Lulu
    Breakfast After 10

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A new direction will mean the world to me...
      xoxo

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  3. There's a lot of good memories to look upto.
    Take it as if you're awaiting a miracle, where just as it happened in Sleeping Beauty's life, things were waiting for this beginning.
    Think as if now everything's gonna be magical and happy, and you'd emerge with a happy ending story.

    Love. There's more to life than we perceive. Our thoughts make all the difference.
    Take Care. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am avidly awaiting a miracle; and I wish to love and live to make a difference.
      Thank you

      xoxo

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  4. I think New Year is just a datum for people to set goals and resolutions since it is the beginning of the year, while on the other hand, you can make changes to life anytime throughout the year.

    Past sometimes can be very painful and I know how difficult it is to erase it. However, remember that "there's always light at the end of the tunnel." At one point, you have to forget the past and walk on, you have to start from somewhere. I have in the past lived in sorrow and remorse but I eventually walked out of it after a few years.

    Your post is filled with emotion yet the lines are so beautiful. I wish you a happy New Year, may this year brings you happiness, success and good health. Take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right when you said that changes in life can happen anytime throughout the year.
      I appreciate that there is someone out there who relates to what I'm feeling.
      Thank you
      xoxo
      S

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