I try convince myself that I'm a miserable person, that I like necrotic thoughts. Edgar Allen Poe is my best friend, ravens are my familiars, and my glass is always half-empty. I choose black over white, and when Naomi or Young asks me what's wrong, I don't tell them and I keep it inside myself to let it simmer in my cauldron of deepness.
But I'm just deluding myself because I know I'm a life-kind of person. Death-kind of people only need to focus on the end, which makes me jealous because I have to focus on the past and the present and the now. They have it so easy.
I don't get why the present is so important anyway. I always hear "Live in the now!" or "Seize the day!" Rarely do people actually do that. Some dream in the future, and others are re-living the past. They're all searching for something either way.
Besides, after 2 seconds of time ... one ... two ... the present is the past, and the future is now. Do we seize the past now? Or seize the future? And then ... one ... two ... 
So, when people ask me, "Black or white?" I say, GREY.
Because I like to believe that I've got my feet in both of them. That I like the dark and the light. That I like Edgar Allen Poe and Walt Whitman. That I am me, and that is enough for now.


  1. YES....GREY!! Too many people live in the black and white. This is absolutely beautiful.

  2. Being yourself should indeed always be enough.

    ✗ℴ ♡

    +To Me It Matters+

  3. Grey, that's exactly what it is.

  4. "one...two..."
    Yes. Well said. I liked this post a lot, S.

    Breakfast After 10

  5. I like how you think..grey it is. :)

    New on your blog. Hope you can find some time to visit mine. Maybe we could follow each other? :)