20 - Voices in My Head


When Father asked me what I thought about him divorcing Mom, I wanted to smack him. I was sitting in the backseat of his car, so I couldn't reach his face. Wasn't he supposed to try and keep the family together? Betrayal at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

But to be honest, I wanted him gone. It's true that hating someone is a lot easier when you can't see them. Yet, the kids needed their "Daddy," the guy who was a role model who was on one side fluffy like a teddy-bear and on the other, strong as a rock. So I said, No. No divorce. The kids need you. He smirked, as if he had already known my answer.
I proceeded to get out of the car and hightail home, trying my very best to forget his reply: That's what I thought, too. I couldn't have said it better myself.

To myself, I thought, You're such a self-sacrificing hypocrite. I couldn't have agreed more with the voice in my head.




4 comments:

  1. For a slightly similar reason, I am very confused about my feelings towards my Father and unable to confront it. I know how it feels.

    +To Me It Matters+

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    Replies
    1. It's nice to know that there are those who know what it feels like.
      xoxo

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  2. It seems odd for a father to ask a child's opinion of the divorce before it has been decided upon. And if he wholeheartedly agreed with you.. does he blame your mother? Something seems off about his question and response.

    xx
    Lulu
    Breakfast After 10

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is an excellent blamer of himself, yet he is always quick to justify and be generous of his actions.
      Hence the voices in my head.

      xoxo

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