Remember

I was standing in front of S. I said something. I don't remember.

S called me dead and emotionless. 
You're an emotionless cadaver with daddy issues, she spat.
He hits, and you can't even talk about it.

Her words maimed, killed, tore and scratched. She clawed at my insecurities, my weight, my body, my financial troubles. My best friend ripped my carefully placed shrouds in front of everyone.

Do you feel better? I asked

What?

Do you feel better?

I've never felt better.

I'm glad something good came from this. 
I kept your secrets. I kept my promises. I kept my word. But you... You didn't keep my secrets. You didn't keep your promises. You didn't keep your word.
Remember.

I woke up sweating and hyperventilating. It was a dream.

Who Will Be Us?

God created you to be you and me to be me.
If you are not you and I am not me
Who will be us?

Me

I'm a mess

I don't regret a lot of things.
But what I regret, I always remember.

I broke numerous promises.
I falsely claimed; I have foolishly trusted.
I have pushed away; I have stayed when not needed.

Oh, well.
I'm a mess.

Mess

It's Been A While

It's been a while.

I've been alone.

I was hurt.

I was sad.

Notice the past tense.

I have found true friends.

I have found ways to heal.

I am not scared to be alone.

No longer.

Ready or not... I'm back now.

Rise

Nothing Was Clear

Lies.
They crashed like tidal waves
Soared and swelled with imagination.
I couldn't tell if anything was right.

And soon, too my surprise,
I found myself building walls.
I hadn't realized that they had built
A castle for me to live in.